Did you ever wake up thinking: Oh no. Not again…
Sometimes the world doesn’t match your expectations. Whether that is the president you wanted to see elected, the change you were hoping to be a part of or the growth of your company.
It sucks when this happens. We feel defeated, like the world is crazy and there’s nothing we can do about it. In these moments I like to remember two things that put me back in the driver’s seat and allow me to create my life instead of reacting to it.
1. Exchange expectations for intentions
What makes you feel so bad is the expectation or the hope that the world is different than it actually is. It’s the thought of ‘this should be different’ that really allows for our frustration to sink in. You don’t need expectations. They’re not the ‘standards’ you believe you have. One can still accomplish a high quality standard and create amazing things by focusing on intention. What is the energy you’d like to bring into your day today? Kind, gentle, curious, strong? You’ll see, it’s much easier to create from a place where you have chosen your state than from one you’ve accidentally slipped into.
2. Good Thing Bad Thing Who Knows
There’s this parable of the Chinese Farmer. Do you know it? It goes like this.
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Long ago, there was a widowed Chinese farmer. The farmer and his only son labored through the cold winds of winter and scorching rays of summer with their last remaining horse. One day, the son didn’t lock the gate of the stable properly, and the horse bolted away.
When neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, “What a sadness this is! Without your horse, you’ll be unable to maintain the farm. What a failure that your son did not lock the gate properly! This is a great tragedy!”
The farmer replied, “Good thing, bad thing, who knows.”
The next day, the missing horse returned to the farmer’s stable, bringing along with it six wild horses. The farmer’s son locked the gate of the stable firmly behind all seven horses.
When neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, “What happiness this brings! With seven horses, you’ll be able to maintain the farm with three of them and sell the rest for huge profits. What a blessing!”
The farmer replied, “Good thing, bad thing, who knows.”
The next day the farmer’s son was breaking in one of the wild horses. The son got thrown from the horse, fell hard on rocks, and broke his leg.
When neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, “What a great sadness this is! Now, you’ll be unable to count on your son’s help. What a failure to break in the horse properly! What a tragedy!”
The farmer replied, “Good thing, bad thing, who knows.”
The next day, a general from the Imperial Chinese Army arrived to conscript all the young men of the village into the army. Their assignment was to fight on the front lines of a battle against a terrifying enemy of overwhelming force. The farmer’s son, because of his broken leg, was not taken.
When neighbors learned what happened, they came to the farmer and said, “What a great joy! Your son avoided facing certain death on the front lines of the battle. What a blessing!”
The farmer replied, “Good thing, bad thing, who knows.”
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It is helpful sometimes to suspend our judgment and not project into the future. Drop your idea of the future and instead put all your mental and emotional energy into the present moment.
What are you going to do with your day?
